Kagome vs. Kikyo! The Barking Commands Contest
Scene: The Countryside
Introduction: Inu Yasha and company already have 3/4 of the Shikon no Tama. Now, they're on the hunt for another shard, which, according to Kagome, is nearby.
Inu Yasha: Shit! Are you sure a jewel shard's nearby?
Kagome: Of course I'm sure, goddammit! You don't believe me, do you?
Inu Yasha: [grumbles]
[Miroku, Sango, and Shippo watch in silence]
Miroku: [sigh] Looks like they're at it again.
Shippo: Inu Yasha can be childish at times. I'm embarrassed to be around him.
Sango: [raises an eyebrow] We all are.
[all three of them sigh]
Sango: [pats Kirara] Don't worry Kirara. Everything would be all right. I promise.
[A huge whirlwind forms from out of nowhere with powerful winds. Miroku and Shippo protected the group.]
Inu Yasha: What the hell--!
The whirlwind revealed a silhouette.
Inu Yasha: What's that?
Kagome: It...it looks like a woman.
Miroku: How can you be sure, Lady Kagome?
Kagome: I---I don't know.
The whirlwind died down, and it indeed reveal a woman.
Inu Yasha & Kagome: [gasp] Kikyo?!?!
Kikyo: Inu Yasha.
Kikyo: Inu Yasha, I want to see you again.
[Kikyo walk to Inu Yasha and put her hand on his face]
Kikyo: [whisper] Inu Yasha.
Inu Yasha: [whisper] Ki..Kikyo.
Group: What's going on here?!?!
[Inu Yasha backs away from Kikyo]
Inu Yasha: What's going on, Kikyo?
Kikyo: I actually came to seek your answer.
Kagome: What answer? [to Inu Yasha] What is she talking about?
Inu Yasha: [clears throat] Kagome. Kikyo. I decided who I wanted to be with.
Kikyo & Kagome: And...?
Inu Yasha: Well, I want Kikyo.
Kagome: [through gritted teeth] You bastard. Sit!
[Inu Yasha became a smoking crater]
[Inu Yasha stands up]
Kagome: [gasp] What the--!
Kikyo: [smirks] You see, Kagome, you're not the only person who can control Inu Yasha. I can, too.
Kagome: [thinking] We'll see about that, you dead bitch.
[Inu Yasha falls into the same crater he made]
[Inu Yasha stands again]
Kagome: Oh. So it's like that, huh? Inu Yasha, I want to be with you. Choose me!
Kikyo: No! Choose me!
Kagome: [growls] Sit!
[During all of this, Miroku, Sango, and Shippo are watching, eating popcorn that they found in Kagome's backpack]
Sango: Shouldn't we be helping Inu Yasha?
Miroku: No. It's best that we leave it to the girls. Popcorn?
Sango: [smiles] Yes. Thank you.
[The "contest" went on for 20 minutes, then the girls grew tired of it]
Kagome: [gasping] Well, Inu Yasha...
Kikyo: [also gasping] who are you going to choose?
[Inu Yasha is now standing between the girls, irresolute]
Inu Yasha: [thinking] Who can I choose? Even though I still love Kikyo, her skin is cold. On the other hand, Kagome always treat me like a damn pet.
Kikyo & Kagome: [shrilly] WELL?
Inu Yasha: I decided to have neither of you bitches.
Miroku: Uh, oh.
Shippo: Here comes trouble.
Sango: Brace yourself.
[Kikyo and Kagome look at each other and smile, as if they have something in mind]
[Inu Yasha created a BIGGER crater]